Well, the Stuckists are always good for a laugh if nothing else and have sent us a couple of press releases. I'm still wondering why we were not invited to the award ceremony!

STUCKIST TURNER PRIZE DEMO APOLOGY

Press release 30.11.07

Issued by Charles Thomson, Co-founder, The Stuckists

For the first time since 2000 there will not be a Stuckist demonstration at the Turner Prize. This is due to industrial action: the Stuckists are coming out on strike in protest at the lameness of this year’s show, which does not merit the accolade of the traditional demo.

We apologise for any disappointment this may cause.

Paul Myners, Tate Chairman, thanked us in person at last year’s demo for giving the Tate extra publicity. If he expects the benefit of our presence, then he will have to do better than just recycling previous nominees, who only deserve one demo at the outside.

Grayson Perry has observed that we “lend a festive air to the queue to get in�. We are sorry that the proceedings will get off to a lame start, but again, it is up to him to use his influence to get more used condoms and hacked up animal carcasses as exhibits. A doll’s house doesn’t merit the effort, and some idiot in a bear costume is indistinguishable from a Stuckist demonstrator anyway.

We apologise particularly to those guests who have waited patiently in past years to get protest leaflets signed and on occasion taken a placard into the event, especially those closely linked to a senior Tate official.

We also apologise to the Tate Liverpool attendants, who told one of our artists they were looking forward to our presence, and to the people of Liverpool, who have contacted us directly to ask if we will be there. We assure them there is no slight intended to the City, whose fine Walker Art Gallery previously hosted a major Stuckist show. But if the Tate expects us to make an effort, then they have to learn we cannot be taken for granted.

It will be necessary to upgrade the standards of the prize which have steadily degraded into increasing blandness. What is needed is someone whose manic personality is guaranteed to give some zest to proceedings by doing all the wrong things. We suggest possibly Billy Childish (Co-founder, now ex-, Stuckist), who is incapable of not speaking his mind, and Stella Vine (another former Stuckist) who is well known as the loosest cannon since the Battle of Trafalgar. We realise of course the natural reluctance of the Tate to nominate people who paint pictures for a prize named after a painter.

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